You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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