Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
