i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
