I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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