I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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