if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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