wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
