I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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