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I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
