if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
