it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
