I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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