found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
