It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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