Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
