Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
