he shaved USA in his pubs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
