When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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