What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
