there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize