Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
