he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
