I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
