I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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