i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
