i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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