i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize