He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
