omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It was confusing and full of hummus
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
