Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
