On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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