His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
