I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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