highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
