So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
