remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize