dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
