kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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