Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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