We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
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Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize