cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
