I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
