if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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