I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
