Don't you send me to vm
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
