Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i think my cat just said my name.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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