So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
