He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
