So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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