I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
