ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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