u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
