One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize