Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
