Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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