she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't deserve a penis
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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