Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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