i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
