You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize