I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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