I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
