Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love having hate sex.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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