i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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