you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
