I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
